Keeping it real
Ed’s job as a greeter at the local Walmart lasted less than a day. Here’s why.
About two hours into his first day on the job, a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
As he had been instructed, Ed said pleasantly, “Good morning and welcome to Walmart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?”
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, “(Bleep) no, they ain’t twins. The oldest one’s 9, and the other one’s 7. Why the (bleep) would you think they’re twins? Are you blind or just stupid?’
Ed replied, “I’m neither blind nor stupid, Ma’am. I just couldn’t believe someone had been intimate with you twice. Have a good day, and thank you for shopping at Walmart.”
His supervisor said he probably wasn’t cut out for that line of work.